Coyote's Canyon Journal

"Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth." -- Walt Whitman, Song of the Open Road

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Location: Canyon State of Mind, United States

I enjoy writing. I don't actually make a living with my English degree, so I keep a blog for fun. The blog is first draft, and as a former editor I apologize for any weird errors that may be present. I do not apologize for writing about things that matter to me. Thanks for reading.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

It was the weirdest week.

And I thought nothing could top January, 2003, in Utah. This week came damn close.

I am under an intense amount of pressure from the current job I hold, finalizing details of my duties which dovetail with the launch of a new web site for the firm. I gave my two weeks' notice last week and by Friday of this coming week, my work there will be done. Although I was offered employment at this firm, where I literally carved a job out of nothing as a contractor all last summer and fall, I have to say I never felt truly welcome. There was a constant undercurrent of instability which issued from my immediate superior, which was pressure and unreasonable demands placed on him from those above him. He is also constantly trying to play politics, thinking ahead to get someone to do this, or that, or keep someone out of a loop or whatever. It's maddening. Doesn't anyone just WORK for god's sake? Or is it all about CYA?

The woman in charge of human resources NEVER spoke to me, said hello, or anything. I would walk by her and say "good morning," and she would scowl at me and just keep walking. It was unbelievably rude. When she found out I was leaving, she came to my desk all smiles, saying she heard I had a better offer and oh well, good luck. I wanted her to leave so badly, but I just decided to let her know how excited I was and how tough the decision to resign was. She finally walked off. Thank god.

I took the job in January because I needed a job, I had already been working there since August and I knew my work, and I wasn't doing anything else that was quite as lucrative at the time. When it was offered to me, my then-boss, a woman, described the offer as "half-assed." I should have known something was up right then. But I also liked my co-workers. I still do. Within three weeks of my stint as an official employee, my boss resigned out of the blue, shocking everyone. I took that as a bad sign. I was never given an official, written job description. Apparently, cancer treatment was not covered in the benefits. Although I had unofficially been working there since August, I was never offered anything like earned days off. So I had none even though I had been there for six months by the time I was actually hired.

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Sweet Jesus, corporate America is still f'kd up. If this is one of the finest firms in the region and it's that screwed up, I have to think that it might be a microcosm of America in general. America seems to be suffering from the effects of people that have power that are trying to over-control stuff, which only makes stuff worse in the long run, like the economy. So too at the firm.

I'm not happy that my stint ended the way it did, but I ended it honorably, and gave notice. I will also train my replacement, which they had hired within two days of my notice. My new job is most certainly a move up in pay, in position, and by basic definitions, an intellectual and cultural move up as well. I just couldn't say no! But I had to say good-bye to my current situation first. More about my new position later.

So I'm dealing with the repercussions of my resignation and my last bits of work which are freaking intense, deadline-driven technical internet things, I had choir on Wed-Thurs-Fri-Sat-Sunday all this week, and...

and...

My parents decided to come visit, showing up on Thursday afternoon. They weren't being needy, but just being their weird selves, with my mother concerned about our new, uh, urban living decision, and how I should NOT be walking to work, among other things. I was really, really tired from work and choir and did not have one shred of extra energy to give toward their visit. But here they were. I had asked them to visit...I just didn't expect it to be THIS WEEK, of all the weeks. I had NO extra time to spend with them, because I would come home from work and have to go right to church. My mother can try my patience...her behavior was mostly acceptable, because I was able to get her to church on Thursday and Friday nights, which were by far the best the music nights, with Durufle's Ubi Caritas on Thursday, and Lotti's Crucifixus on Friday.

It was just a bad convergence of several different events. Oh yeah. It was horrible.

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My parents left this morning, opting to leave before church and spend their extra travel time at casinos in Saint Louis on the way home.

I curse the day riverboat casinos came to the Midwest. My parents spend too much time and God knows how much of anything else at these money pits. After living within driving distance of Las Vegas for many years, gambling just isn't interesting to us anymore. I sort of dread going because I know I will most likely walk out $100 poorer most of the time. As described above, that money is hard-earned. I prefer to spend that kind of money at a restaurant, or on a neato day trip. Or on yoga class. ANYTHING, anything else, except putting it into a machine for a few seconds of blinky lights and noise.

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I'm finished with all the church stuff. By far, the church commitments were the ones I was most looking forward to keeping. I wept openly walking up the stairs to get out of my vestments...joyful that after eleven years I was singing again, glad that the week was over. Now all I have left to endure is five more days at my old job. I pray it's not as trying as this last week has been.

It certainly wasn't as trying as January, 2003. Thank goodness.

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