Outdoor Retailer '05
I've been awake since 4 a.m. and decided I just needed to get up and get out of bed and do something. Damn, I hate insomnia.
Outdoor Retailer, that gigantic gear extravaganza for all outdoor nerds, quickly approaches. I am not anticipating the torture of endless, mindless rows of backpacks and their sales people this year, nor am I looking forward to the big-name fortresses that shut out the little people. And I can certainly do without all the gear dudes that are so much cooler than the average human. Yes, they are so much cooler than you or I, bro, or "brah," as the really cool ones would say. I am anticipating the return of the band Cowboy Mouth for the after-show free beer party. Last year, this beer bash was held outside of the Salt Palace, which is in downtown SLC just in the shadow of the LDS Temple. Anyway, the lead singer of Cowboy Mouth gets on the mic and starts going off with "Hey you fuckers..." And he went on...and on...It was loud, too. I was very pleased. So I can't wait for that. If you are a beer drinker, well, this is your kind of convention, because most of the gear purveyors have cases on ice or a whole freakin' keg. I'll be moderating my beverage intake...it makes for bad business decisions if you don't watch that.
There is a slim chance of running into my neighbor at this convention. He's kind of creepy, for a lot of reasons that would fill this blog for at least two weeks. He bought a gear store here two years ago and still has no idea what he is doing. Still. He thinks he owns a store in Boulder, Colorado for some reason, not the middle-of-nowhere, Utah. He is just a mean-spirited rich guy that would rather have friends he buys than earns. I hate those kind of people, you know, the ones that have money and the ones that would hang out and say anything or do anything to hang out with the ones that have money. Both are foul and repugnant. Well I am rambling...lack of sleep you know...I can do without seeing him at ALL, and I think the gods will smile on me and I won't bump into him and have to make banal small talk. I'm not into kissing rich people's asses, so I don't see him that much here, mercifully.
Then there is the prospect of being really excited to see the next cool thing in outdoor gear. I remember when the JetBoil stove came out...wow, that was cool. Or the MSR Missing Link tent. Cool. Or anything at Go-Lite. Ultra cool. There are the little treasures you find at Outdoor Retailer that make the whole pilgrimage to Salt Lake worthwhile. Last year, we crashed the "Life is Good" party at Wasatch Brewery. They had rented out this whole place, private party, groovy rock band, giant food buffet...and we happened to go because we stood in line for lunch at the right place earlier in the day and stood next to one of the "Life is Good" guys. It was delightful to see a company and its customers so damn happy about t-shirts with a stick figure doing some outdoor thing and the words "Life is Good." Damn. Why didn't I think of that? When I see stuff like that, I know I live in a great country. I will be sure to swing by the "Life is Good" booth and, uh...find out if they are having a party again this year.
It is finally 7 a.m. here and I am fully awake now. I even made coffee. I guess I'll try to nap later on, since I have been really struggling to sleep through a night lately. We went on this huge hike a few days ago, an 11-mile epic, and I almost fell asleep during a break in the middle of it. I don't know what is going on with this sleep thing, but it's starting to really bug me. Outdoor Retailer is less than two weeks away, and it already bugs me. Maybe I need a career change. Yes, that's it. I'm ready for a new adventure that will not regularly include the word "brah."
Outdoor Retailer, that gigantic gear extravaganza for all outdoor nerds, quickly approaches. I am not anticipating the torture of endless, mindless rows of backpacks and their sales people this year, nor am I looking forward to the big-name fortresses that shut out the little people. And I can certainly do without all the gear dudes that are so much cooler than the average human. Yes, they are so much cooler than you or I, bro, or "brah," as the really cool ones would say. I am anticipating the return of the band Cowboy Mouth for the after-show free beer party. Last year, this beer bash was held outside of the Salt Palace, which is in downtown SLC just in the shadow of the LDS Temple. Anyway, the lead singer of Cowboy Mouth gets on the mic and starts going off with "Hey you fuckers..." And he went on...and on...It was loud, too. I was very pleased. So I can't wait for that. If you are a beer drinker, well, this is your kind of convention, because most of the gear purveyors have cases on ice or a whole freakin' keg. I'll be moderating my beverage intake...it makes for bad business decisions if you don't watch that.
There is a slim chance of running into my neighbor at this convention. He's kind of creepy, for a lot of reasons that would fill this blog for at least two weeks. He bought a gear store here two years ago and still has no idea what he is doing. Still. He thinks he owns a store in Boulder, Colorado for some reason, not the middle-of-nowhere, Utah. He is just a mean-spirited rich guy that would rather have friends he buys than earns. I hate those kind of people, you know, the ones that have money and the ones that would hang out and say anything or do anything to hang out with the ones that have money. Both are foul and repugnant. Well I am rambling...lack of sleep you know...I can do without seeing him at ALL, and I think the gods will smile on me and I won't bump into him and have to make banal small talk. I'm not into kissing rich people's asses, so I don't see him that much here, mercifully.
Then there is the prospect of being really excited to see the next cool thing in outdoor gear. I remember when the JetBoil stove came out...wow, that was cool. Or the MSR Missing Link tent. Cool. Or anything at Go-Lite. Ultra cool. There are the little treasures you find at Outdoor Retailer that make the whole pilgrimage to Salt Lake worthwhile. Last year, we crashed the "Life is Good" party at Wasatch Brewery. They had rented out this whole place, private party, groovy rock band, giant food buffet...and we happened to go because we stood in line for lunch at the right place earlier in the day and stood next to one of the "Life is Good" guys. It was delightful to see a company and its customers so damn happy about t-shirts with a stick figure doing some outdoor thing and the words "Life is Good." Damn. Why didn't I think of that? When I see stuff like that, I know I live in a great country. I will be sure to swing by the "Life is Good" booth and, uh...find out if they are having a party again this year.
It is finally 7 a.m. here and I am fully awake now. I even made coffee. I guess I'll try to nap later on, since I have been really struggling to sleep through a night lately. We went on this huge hike a few days ago, an 11-mile epic, and I almost fell asleep during a break in the middle of it. I don't know what is going on with this sleep thing, but it's starting to really bug me. Outdoor Retailer is less than two weeks away, and it already bugs me. Maybe I need a career change. Yes, that's it. I'm ready for a new adventure that will not regularly include the word "brah."
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