Man vs. Earth
Catchy post title, huh? I'll bet you were thinking it was going to be about the environment or global warming, right? Well, you're wrong.
I was watching Discovery Channel last night; I really do enjoy this channel. They have some decent programming at least three nights out of the week. Apparently, Tuesday night's theme on Discovery is "Man v. the WORLD" in whatever kind of insane outdoor activity you could imagine.
Discovery has made an entire series out of climbing Mount Everest, one of the stupidest things you could do with your life. If you value your life, you wouldn't climb Everest. Anyway, this piece of macho clap-trap is called "Everest: Beyond the Limit." I was beyond my limit of watching these idiots by the time the hour was up. As an outdoor hiking guide, this show just irritates me to NO END. First, the clients that hire the guide pay $40,000. That's if you summit or not, if you die or not, or if you fall ill or not. That's $40,000 to do something that could kill you. The guide, an old Kiwi, has no insurance, because no one will insure an Everest guide service--and he also has no scruples. Look, I'm not one to disparage people with disabilities, but this guide took money from a man with NO LEGS who wants to summit, and from a man with bolts in his legs and spine from a motorcycle crash. Motorcycle boy appeared to have never even carried a backpack before--and it was bugging his old back injury.
I owned a guide service--I wouldn't take either of these guys to the beach, let alone Everest. I have no problem with actually wanting to climb Everest if you have experience in mountaineering. Aaron Ralston has more experience climbing mountains than anyone on this show, and I would trust him to climb Everest without hurting himself or others--and he's missing an arm from an unfortunate slot canyoneering adventure in Utah! The thing about Everest is that shit could go down and get ugly in a heartbeat. If you aren't EXPERIENCED in mountain climbing...if you aren't in TOP PHYSICAL CONDITION...if your only goal in life is to summit Everest and damn everyone else, including your spouse and kids...you have NO BUSINESS climbing Everest. THE..FUCKING.. END. And that's why this TV show is a load of horse-shit. It glorifies all the WRONG reasons for climbing Everest, as well as making the macho assholes doing it look like heroes...they are all ZEROS.
Right after "Everest" came Discovery's other new X-sport-cool-dude show "Man vs. Wild" with Bear whoever...the show opens with his "life list" of macho derring-do: "I've trained with MI-5...I've scaled Everest...I've joined the Foreign Legion..."
BLAH BLAH BLAH. I quickly turned the channel because the opening three sentences of this show immediately reminded me of "Commander McBrag" from the "Rocky & Bullwinkle" hour. "I was in darkest Africa..."
Gawd Discovery Channel...maybe this is good TV to people that sit in a cubicle all day, but from somebody in the "outdoor industry" both of these shows are crap--and from a woman's point of view, insufferable macho boasting and chest-beating. The guys on TLC's "The Monastery" are braver than the idiots on these shows. Forty days in a Benedictine Monastery or 40 days climbing Everest? I know which takes more balls, to be sure.
----An aside from a professional guiding POV:
Clients used to call us for a hike and start going off on their "list" -- "I've done Grand Canyon, Grand Teton, and Black Canyon of the Gunnison...I've paddled the River of Doubt AND the Colorado...I've fought off grizzlies and mosquitoes and leaches and dehydration..."
I could have cared less. If they thought they could do the hikes, then that was their decision. Guides don't know how fit you are, to be totally honest. YOU have to be totally honest with yourself and compare the descriptions of the adventure with your level of fitness. I didn't really want to know what they did, because their ego REALLY wanted me to know about it much worse than I needed to know. After people that needed to "share" their accomplishments would call, I'd only tell them this: "Yeah, you can do this hike." They'd be bummed I didn't say "Oh cool dude," or "Way rad, brah."
I have never stroked egos, I don't appreciate being put in that position, and I am certain that I may have lost business being this clear-minded about people and their narcissistic needs. But when safety is MY responsibility, I'm not going to be thinking about all the stuff they've done; I'm going to be thinking about the hike that's going on RIGHT NOW...and if that's not good enough, if they needed a guide that patronizes as well as minds the trail, then I would not have been the person to hire.
I was watching Discovery Channel last night; I really do enjoy this channel. They have some decent programming at least three nights out of the week. Apparently, Tuesday night's theme on Discovery is "Man v. the WORLD" in whatever kind of insane outdoor activity you could imagine.
Discovery has made an entire series out of climbing Mount Everest, one of the stupidest things you could do with your life. If you value your life, you wouldn't climb Everest. Anyway, this piece of macho clap-trap is called "Everest: Beyond the Limit." I was beyond my limit of watching these idiots by the time the hour was up. As an outdoor hiking guide, this show just irritates me to NO END. First, the clients that hire the guide pay $40,000. That's if you summit or not, if you die or not, or if you fall ill or not. That's $40,000 to do something that could kill you. The guide, an old Kiwi, has no insurance, because no one will insure an Everest guide service--and he also has no scruples. Look, I'm not one to disparage people with disabilities, but this guide took money from a man with NO LEGS who wants to summit, and from a man with bolts in his legs and spine from a motorcycle crash. Motorcycle boy appeared to have never even carried a backpack before--and it was bugging his old back injury.
I owned a guide service--I wouldn't take either of these guys to the beach, let alone Everest. I have no problem with actually wanting to climb Everest if you have experience in mountaineering. Aaron Ralston has more experience climbing mountains than anyone on this show, and I would trust him to climb Everest without hurting himself or others--and he's missing an arm from an unfortunate slot canyoneering adventure in Utah! The thing about Everest is that shit could go down and get ugly in a heartbeat. If you aren't EXPERIENCED in mountain climbing...if you aren't in TOP PHYSICAL CONDITION...if your only goal in life is to summit Everest and damn everyone else, including your spouse and kids...you have NO BUSINESS climbing Everest. THE..FUCKING.. END. And that's why this TV show is a load of horse-shit. It glorifies all the WRONG reasons for climbing Everest, as well as making the macho assholes doing it look like heroes...they are all ZEROS.
Right after "Everest" came Discovery's other new X-sport-cool-dude show "Man vs. Wild" with Bear whoever...the show opens with his "life list" of macho derring-do: "I've trained with MI-5...I've scaled Everest...I've joined the Foreign Legion..."
BLAH BLAH BLAH. I quickly turned the channel because the opening three sentences of this show immediately reminded me of "Commander McBrag" from the "Rocky & Bullwinkle" hour. "I was in darkest Africa..."
Gawd Discovery Channel...maybe this is good TV to people that sit in a cubicle all day, but from somebody in the "outdoor industry" both of these shows are crap--and from a woman's point of view, insufferable macho boasting and chest-beating. The guys on TLC's "The Monastery" are braver than the idiots on these shows. Forty days in a Benedictine Monastery or 40 days climbing Everest? I know which takes more balls, to be sure.
----An aside from a professional guiding POV:
Clients used to call us for a hike and start going off on their "list" -- "I've done Grand Canyon, Grand Teton, and Black Canyon of the Gunnison...I've paddled the River of Doubt AND the Colorado...I've fought off grizzlies and mosquitoes and leaches and dehydration..."
I could have cared less. If they thought they could do the hikes, then that was their decision. Guides don't know how fit you are, to be totally honest. YOU have to be totally honest with yourself and compare the descriptions of the adventure with your level of fitness. I didn't really want to know what they did, because their ego REALLY wanted me to know about it much worse than I needed to know. After people that needed to "share" their accomplishments would call, I'd only tell them this: "Yeah, you can do this hike." They'd be bummed I didn't say "Oh cool dude," or "Way rad, brah."
I have never stroked egos, I don't appreciate being put in that position, and I am certain that I may have lost business being this clear-minded about people and their narcissistic needs. But when safety is MY responsibility, I'm not going to be thinking about all the stuff they've done; I'm going to be thinking about the hike that's going on RIGHT NOW...and if that's not good enough, if they needed a guide that patronizes as well as minds the trail, then I would not have been the person to hire.
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