The Apartment.

I have moved into a small apartment. I'm just sitting here, bored. I know no one in Albuquerque, except the innkeeper whom I met when I first got here (nice, but all business), and my apartment manager (nice, business-like, still really nice). My husband is still not with me...I hope to see him before too long. I am hoping he'll get here by Christmas Eve, anyway.

I'm enjoying the quiet time and the sunsets. It is amazing here like that, just what I've been missing living back east. Some old Utah friends found me that live two hours north of here, and I went to visit last Sunday. We hung out all day at Ojo Caliente Hot Springs and Spa, and it was just what I needed. I could go back again tomorrow, but I had to get Christmas presents boxed and mailed, and I've been taking care of other things, like updating my resume. And doing laundry.

Ah, the joy of living in a city with a Trader Joe's. I went to buy some Christmas package goodies for my parents and ended up buying a lot of stuff for myself. Delightful. My Christmas shopping is all done. I can do what I please with my days, and I've been shopping for little things for the apartment here and there, and hanging out on the internet. There was no internet to speak of at my sister-in-law's house, and even getting online with her dated dial-up service took a long, long time. Took me back to the 56K days, except it wasn't even that good...more like 28.8. Hated it. Even though I had great connections with the people in Kentucky, I felt good putting it in the rear-view mirror.

There are a lot of casinos here; I can take them or leave them. I am not a gambling crazed freak, but I do enjoy a few hours just hanging out here and there. Having been to Las Vegas so many times in my life, gambling is just not a big deal to me. It isn't even exciting to me anymore, and I thank my stars it isn't. When you go enough and understand that you will lose money more often than win, it does deter you from even making an effort to get out and go to a casino.

My sleep has been punctuated with bouts of wide awake-ness at 3:30, 4:15, or 5:00. I cannot get back to sleep after waking up. The following night I get all caught up and sleep really well. I hope this settles down a bit once I get used to being somewhere new. I'm not freaking out or stressing out about this move. In fact, once the decision was made for me to come west first, I felt an exquisite pang of relief...relief to be on my own, relief to be doing something productive after the moving plan-change, and the relief of just getting on with it all.

I've been alone for two weeks now. I am finding that I like it more than I thought I would...barring the sleeplessness.

I'm moved.

I'm sitting in my weird hotel room in Santa Fe, up way too early with time on my hands, so I thought I'd throw out an update for whoever reads my stuff.

After getting out of our beloved carriage house in Old Louisville, we took what stuff we hadn't thrown out or given away to my sister-in-law's house and immediately drove to Kansas City for a fun weekend with family and friends. It was a surreal week.

When we got back to Louisville, plans that we had made began to unravel a bit. It was decided that I would go on ahead to New Mexico alone to find a new home, which I did. It is a tiny apartment in Albuquerque that is not in the greatest neighborhood, but it will do for the next six months while we find a more permanent locus. In the few days I kicked around the Duke City, I found that I really liked it. It is very similar to Louisville in that it is medium-sized and has a couple of universities. Unlike Louisville, spectacular scenery is just around every bend in the road, and great hiking is a short drive away. And the dry air just feels so much healthier--that was a change I could feel almost immediately.

Of course, I arrived in the land of enchantment right before a huge storm walloped the state with ice, snow, and insane hurricane-force winds. After I had found the apartment, I had a few days before moving in to just hang out so I drifted up to Santa Fe the day after the crazy storm. I pulled into town just in time to see several multi-car fender benders and traffic snarled up due to the snow and ice and accidents. I came very close to getting in one myself, but amazingly drove out of it at the last second.

Once I found a place to stay, I walked down to the Plaza in the brutal cold and slush and just hung out and wandered around. With the snow and the Christmas decor, it is a very serene and dreamy place. The cold wasn't even so bad since the scenery was so wonderful. Although Christmas is around the corner, I was not in the mood to shop. Many of the little shops here just don't appeal to me. I don't know if I can describe it very well, but a lot of the stores are super-high priced with either clothing or decor or Indian art that is just not appealing to me in any way. It's like...if some dirtbag in Kentucky won the lottery and came here to shop, they might buy the stuff that is in the stores here. Some of the stores are galleries and have some nice art. I can get with that. But the other stuff...no thanks. Although I did see a Western store that was selling cowboy hats, and there on display in the window was a fabulous bowler hat. I nearly went in to try it on, but held myself back. A chick in a bowler hat? Hm. Not my style, really. I could imagine a few men I'd like to see wearing it, though. Hot.

I found my way to the Loretto Chapel again for the second time in five years, and said a quiet prayer of thanks for my safety and for being able to do what I needed to do to find a new home. There was an over-loud looped audio that played over and over about the place and its spiral staircase, which broke the mood a few times...but, I learned that the nuns that had come there to start their girl's school and build the chapel had come from a mother house in Kentucky. They lost their Reverend Mother during the journey to Santa Fe, fraught as it was with all the hazards of going west in those days. I found it a comforting coincidence. They traveled far to build a new home, they suffered loss and eventually triumphed. I can only hope for the same outcome. AND...a miracle would be great, too (the sisters had what I can only describe as divine intervention with a carpenter). Although, I am beginning to see that almost everything that has happened to me in my life seems to have been miraculous, and I am grateful for my talents and good fortune and good health.

Singing has been about the last thing on my mind for obvious reasons, but I don't want to lose that in my life ever again. I'm sure I'll know when the time is right to look into that again, but I cannot wait too long. The voice needs use to maintain its quality. Guess I'll know when I'm ready to look for another choir.

Tomorrow I finally move into the tiny (TINY) place I found, alone. My husband will come when he can, but he had loose ends to tie up in the Ville. It has been an astounding experience going at all of this on my own, and I've been grateful for the alone time to sort out a lot of stuff that has been on my mind. I'm sure I'll meet people and go places that will show me what comes next in life. So far, so good. Everyone I've met so far has been so nice. It's a good sign.