From a recent hike

Spending ourselves into oblivion

My husband is really smart. A great guy, too. Yesterday morning we're drinking coffee and he says, "I almost got you out of bed last night because I was watching the SCARIEST show I think I've ever seen."

I'm thinking he's talking about some horror film or something. He goes on.

"It was on one of those university channels--it was a taped lecture by the comptroller general of the US. He said he has no hope for the future of the country or for his grandchildren's future. It was the scariest thing I've seen on TV in a long time. America is over...our total debt outweighs our total accumulated wealth. It's just a matter of time before the economy and the country completely fall apart."

As my husband keeps droning on and on about the historical nature of republics and how it's hopeless, I'm getting freaked out. Then he says, "Go to the GAO's web site and read the report. You will be afraid." So I did. Now I wish he had gotten me up to watch the lecture, because the report is kind of long, but it is simply a frighteningly honest appraisal of where the U.S. is headed if we don't get the deficit and the budget under some kind of control and start accounting for emergency spending as part of that. Americans (and congress, for god's sake) need to get honest with each other about this, and quick, or by 2012 we'll be free-falling into an economic black hole from which we will never be able to escape.

One problem is the "mandated spending" by congress so they don't have to worry about a different congress repealing what they already voted to spend; in a way, Tom DeLay was right when he said last week that there was no fat to cut off of the budget. It would be illegal to do so with mandated spending. In reality, that is ridiculous because we all know there is a lot of spending we could cut--but the mandates make it nearly impossible.

I'm not smart enough to go into this any further because I would certainly sound like I'm not smart enough to be discussing these things. But I liked Tucker Carlson's chopping block he listed on his show the other night: means testing for Social Security, chopping the Departments of Education, Energy, and on and on...yep, we're on the same page there. The report's cure? It said that taxes would have to be increased three-fold and a whole lot of things would have to be cut to reverse the inevitable. And as we all know, taxes will NEVER be increased three-fold, at least as long as Bush is president. He'll leave that burden to the next president.

DeLay indicted, but not concerned

Indicted DeLay leaves House leadership post

Funny how DeLay is actually not worried about this at all.

DeLay dismissed the charges as having "no basis in the facts or the law."

"This indictment is nothing more than prosecutorial retribution by a partisan Democrat," he said in a statement.

However...

In September 2002, Colyandro, TRMPAC's executive director, sent a blank check to Ellis, who was DeLay's primary fund-raiser in Washington.

According to a money-laundering indictment against the two men, Ellis is accused of having the Republican National Committee launder $190,000 of corporate donations into noncorporate money that was distributed to seven candidates for the Texas House of Representatives.

Texas law generally prohibits corporate money from being used for campaign activities.

Next stop, Bill Frist and his "blind trust" tampering. Isn't that how Jim Traficant got a prison sentence, by tampering with his "blind trust?" Hmmm. I thought so. That Jim Traficant...what a card. I miss him, actually.

Bush urging conservation as he flies all over the damn country

Bush, Urging Conservation, Seeks to Boost Fuel Supply - Los Angeles Times

I love this. Here's the president:

"I mean, people just need to recognize that the storms have caused disruption and that if they're able to maybe not drive … on a trip that's not essential, that would be helpful."

Then, later in the article:

Asked whether Bush — who today takes his seventh trip to the Gulf Coast since Katrina struck in late August — would curtail his own travel to the area, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said: "It's important for the president of the United States to travel to the region and get firsthand accounts of the operations and to provide comfort and support to those who have been affected…. That's an important responsibility of the president of the United States."

For a moment, forget about the cost of fuel for the president to fly anywhere. The sheer number of humans that it takes to protect him as he travels is a HUGE expense in and of itself. Now how much does it cost to fly the entourage anywhere as well? It's the old "do what I say, not what I do" lesson at work.

Will his request for people not to drive hurt my business in the last month of my season? I sure as hell hope not, because FEMA and the SBA don't have any aid for businesses affected by economic factors that arise from natural disasters. 9/11 hurt us pretty bad; now, numbers have finally returned to 2000 levels. But with the refinery problems, the airline industry will be the first travel-related business to get hurt; I would not be surprised to see more airlines file for bankrupcy by the end of Q1 2006. The gas problem was a problem before the hurricanes. Now...well, things could get real ugly real quick economically. Watch out for inflation during Christmas shopping...higher prices will not go unnoticed by anyone, I predict.

I'm so happy Exxon is having its best year EVER. Not.

The All-Hurricane Channel

Cable News Giants Considering All-Hurricane Channel -- The Garlic

Damn. Why didn't I think of this?

Spoof aside, this is a great idea. The Dish Network, a satellite television provider, actually has an "all-hurricane" channel called "ERIN," The Emergency Response and Information Network. It's a 24/7 scroll of contact web sites and phone numbers for emergency and disaster aid and information, set to a calming background of new age, light classical, or groovy jazz music.

In any case, if there had been an "all-hurricane" channel, I would have been able to watch real news for the last ten days. Now there is a new tropical depression in the Gulf. *sigh* I wonder when cable news channels will actually begin reporting the news again, stuff like Bill Frist's stock sales, Tom Delay's fund-raising buddies, and the "Able Danger" Senate hearings.

Love > all.

I can't believe I'm going to write about this in my blog. But I must say something after writing about the "Abu Ghraib" love thing--ugh--because I could NOT be in love and still do bad things that are repulsive and just plain WRONG. Love is not an excuse for bad behavior; it's shameful to even use love as a reason in that case. But if you are ignorant of the subject, or confused about its feelings...well I can understand. But, in any case, here is where I stand on the subject.

What is love, exactly? I used to think I knew; now, I am not so sure. I try to understand why I feel the way I do when I feel love and there is no explanation. I enjoy pondering this, and in a perverse way, I also enjoy knowing I'll never have an adequate explanation of the word. I enjoy the mystery of love, and I love knowing that I may never know all there is to know about love.

Is love a committment? Because you can be committed to a job or a child's care, but is that love? Is love sex? You can have all kinds of that, but I can't see how love is part of sex for the most part, with a few fleeting exceptions. Romance fills that in to an extent, but after being married for awhile, that goes away and the mundane parts of life take over.

Is love putting up with the things you don't like about someone so you can have the things you do like? Perhaps; or it may be really knowing someone and knowing their faults, and wanting them around anyway. That could be dangerous if their faults were say, meth use or serial killing. I don't have those issues, mercifully. So many people equate love with just being wanted, and that is not healthy.

I think I know what a part of love is after writing all this out. Love is a decision. I think lust you cannot choose. It hits you and you have to deal with it however your life's circumstances direct. But love...you choose to love. You decide that a person is worth a higher level of esteem than your friendly neighbor or the mail man. When you feel love, you are recognizing some part of yourself. Maybe the person you love is in fact a better part of yourself that you can truly appreciate without narcissism.

No matter what kind of love you are in, it is worthy of feeling. Whether it is for a family member or friend, keep that love as a precious commodity, something of value that is an indication of your values and your greatness. Maybe love is the thing that connects everyone, the great "I am"--and we just don't have a great enough word for it. Although, love isn't that bad a word for such a thing, after all. And those connections that are greater with certain people, for whatever reason, are perhaps what love really is when all the other stuff is stripped away: simply a stronger connection.

This was all very complex and pointless, except to allow me some small measure of catharsis about the nature of love and how it mystifies and charms me. When I was younger I was sure that when I was older I would know exactly what love was about, but the old "the more you know the less you really know" thing applies with love just as much as it applies to just about everything else in life. It's one of those "unseen" things that are so great a part of what a person truly is outside of their physical body. So I'm stuck with the great mystery of love, which at this point in my life, has me completely drawn into its interesting left turns and adventurous two-lane scenic byways. I love a good mystery...and an unplanned road trip.

Ugggghhhhhh.....

CNN.com - Defense: Lynndie England love-struck

At first I was all for women serving in the armed forces with men, right up there with them. This is just one more reason NOT to have women working with men in the Army: hormones.

These soldiers should have been all about work, taking their prison job as seriously as they could; instead, they were hooking up on the side. Putting men and women together in stressful situations where you don't see your spouse for long periods of time doesn't bode well, either. It makes me wonder just how much horseplay is going on in Iraq when it should be damn serious business.

On the love side of the issue...oh dear god...personally, I can think of many other things are so much more romantic than degrading a human being and taking pictures. I can just hear the conversation now: "Honey, let's a put leash on that one tonight...yesss." That is disgusting.

This story ALONE is reason enough for women to not be in the rank and file armed services. You can't do your life-and-death job well AT ALL when you are worried or daydreaming or whatever about somebody that you LOVE that is right next to you! It just doesn't work.

This is bullshit.

Sen. Specter says Pentagon blocking September 11 inquiry

OK, news media outlets...do you think until Hurricane Rita actually hits something we could get caught up on what the Judiciary Committee is doing outside of the Roberts confirmation? Because what the Department of Defense did today by not allowing certain people to testify is, well, indefensible. And this "Able Danger" story is really, REALLY interesting.

Trust me, cable news networks...there will be tons of carnage, wreckage, destruction, and devastation to last for days after Hurricane Rita actually gets somewhere (and isn't that lucky for Rumsfeld...how downright providential). So until then, could we please have regular news coverage about the other topics of the day, because I can handle it. No really, I can. I can process more than one story at a time. And I would like to know if my government knew about Mohammed Atta and his activities before 9/11 happened, just as the Judiciary Committee would if Rumsfeld would let anyone testify.

Childhood memories are good, part 2

Here is a game I played and played and played as a youngster. My best friend also had this game, and we spent hours playing this after school. HOURS. I have many happy memories associated with "Which Witch," so I do not find it odd that kids today are obsessed by Harry Potter. We were crazy about haunted houses and Halloween, and Halloween is still my best friend's favorite holiday (as well as mine).

My best friend loves Halloween so much that all of her Christmas tree ornaments are Halloween-themed. It's no wonder she's so crazy about New Orleans; it's definitely spooky. But the coolest thing she did, I think, was to have nine of the "Which Witch" playing cards professionally framed. She hangs it in her casual den area. I'll see it when I go home to visit this winter, I'm sure.

Vindication

FTC Investigates gas price profiteering -- Reuters.com

Well it's about damn time somebody looked into these insane gasoline prices. For a few months, I thought I was one of maybe 12,765 people that thought refineries were offline on purpose so oil companies' profits would rise by keeping gas high during the busy summer season.

I posted this on August 5 of this year:

It seems...that all these refineries are not re-opening arbitrarily. The oil companies see that summer is a big gas consumption time and why should they reopen if no one is complaining about gas prices? I mean, a nickel more for gas for us means MILLIONS more for them in profit since they get a percentage from pump prices and not a set amount per gallon.

Now I see I am not alone in my suspicions, thank god...

Bush in New Orleans

Bush speech a bid to repair presidency - washingtonpost.com

I watched the president speak last night from New Orleans. His plans require HUGE sums of money. Where the money is coming from, I don't know. I don't know if anyone knows. It will be interesting to see what goes on with congress in the coming year, and if the president will actually veto something now that so much is at stake. This all-republican congress is spending money like a rich man's son who doesn't earn, but inherits his wealth--"Hey, it's DAD's money...I'll just spend some MORE...and MORE...and MORE." Where does the word "conserve" come into play with these conservatives, anyway?

I listened to the president more than I actually watched him. I was waiting to hear just how in the world we were going to pay for all the reconstruction and government involvment with the rebuilding process, but I never heard how that would happen. I was trying to glean something more from his words, but I could not find in his tone what was missing in the speech. I became very frightened for the fiscal future of the country, let alone what would happen in the event of a terrorist attack or natural disaster.

Perhaps it is "too little, too late" for the entire neo-conservative movement; after all, they have spent more money than Clinton EVER did. These high gas prices aren't helping out their poll numbers, either. And you know what really bothered me? How these "neo-con" politicians are all pro-life and Christian, but they just sat around and watched thousands of people suffer and die for 72 or more hours after the storm passed. Hell, they moved faster for one woman in a permanent vegetative state than they did for thousands of children, elderly, and sick that truly needed their help. Let us hope that the real conservatives step forward now and show these "neo-con" hypocrites and poseurs how the GOP should really be handling all of this.

Lastly, there was something very spooky about the president's speech. His backdrop was the St. Louis Cathedral. Very nice. It was lit up like a Christmas tree. How did they do that when power isn't restored to most of the city yet? Maybe the power is on in that part of town. It isn't. There was one clue that told the whole story: the cathedral clock. It never moved. The hands stayed at 7:37 for the entire time the president spoke. I supposed that the clock has been frozen there since Katrina moved over the city. That symbolized more to me than anything else last night. The dead clock that had stopped when the storm hit that morning.

To be honest, I was hoping to hear some real solutions to these problems, and an outline of where these funds would come from, or how the national budget would be altered, to pay for all this. I'm grateful that I was not directly impacted by this storm, but now I'm sure that all Americans will bear its brunt, sooner or later.

Childhood memories are good.

Someone out there probably still has an unopened six-pack, thinking it will be collector's item.

A New Orleans Funeral

I'm so sick of the regular news right now I honestly don't have an opinion on anything at the moment. I'll just write about a special story that was related to me recently.

I spoke with my best friend in Kansas City a few days ago. A group of my buddies went to New Orleans for a big girl's weekend the first part of July. They had been last summer and had a great time; this year, it was just as fun. As usual, I was invited to join them, but, as usual, I could not go due to my work schedule.

My friend was telling me all about the haunted hotel where they stayed, about the shops in the French Quarter where they browsed, and the cute guys wearing fedoras at their favorite restaurant. "You know, I can say that we actually have friends in New Orleans," she added.

Then she spoke more quietly, her tone almost dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

Friend: "We saw a New Orleans funeral."

Me: "NO WAY."

Friend: "We did. One with the Jazz band in front, a horse-drawn hearse...the whole thing."

Me: "Oh my god. How special was that?"

My friend went on to tell me about the funeral they attended. It was more special than I could have even imagined.

"It was for Allison Montana, Chief of Chiefs of the Mardi Gras Indians. His nickname was Tootie. He was at a city council meeting complaining about the police hassling the Indians during a party that spring when he died from a heart attack, right there in front of the mayor and everything."

Here's a link describing the whole event as it went down: Honoring Tootie Montana

Upon hearing about Tootie's funeral from people in the French Quarter, my friends decided to go to the neighborhood where the funeral parade was going to be, even though it was off the beaten paths of New Orleans for them. I ask if this street is now under water, and my friend confirms as much. It was a poorer neighborhood, and everyone was turned out for the funeral procession. My friends were the only white people there and it was not a problem, no one hassled them.

The spectacle of the jazz band, the horse-drawn hearse, and of all the Mardi Gras tribes dressed in their brightly colored, feathery parade costumes, marching down the street in the insane July heat was something that most tourists don't see every day, and most tourists would never see not being as inquisitive as my friends happen to be. I declared the whole event as some kind of sign from God, the universe, or whatever larger-than-you belief that could be ascribed to such a thing; my friend agreed.

Tootie Montana's passing was the end of an era, and now his New Orleans has also passed away. We mourners can only hope the city reincarnates itself into an appropriate approximation of the place it once was.

Small businesses ready to rebuild

BBC NEWS | French Quarter keen to open for business

I love this story because it's so AMERICAN! Small business owners in the French Quarter are ready to clean up and get back to work. The small business owners have the most to lose and the least to fall back upon, and they are ready to get going and get reopened. I don't see why not as soon as water and electricity are restored. All those relief workers will need places to eat and unwind to feel normal until the tourists and the residents return. These business owners are even predicting that they'll be open for Mardi Gras. I hope they will.

So I'm wondering now...how are businesses of any kind faring in assessing damage and getting contractors hired? After all, the Hyatt cannot just stand open with no windows for the rest of the summer, can it? Since the city has been "evacuated until further notice," does that include Wal-Mart's insurance people? Hilton's damage team? When can those people do what they need to do? And when will they have enough employees to at least open as little as they can? What is the New Orleans Chamber of Commerce saying? Because without the businesses reopened, at the least, no one will have jobs to come home to when they can come home. Hopefully, they have a place to live if their jobs are waiting.

It was a bad week.

Wasn't last week was one of those epic weeks from hell? That Katrina was unbelievable. She broke a lot of hearts, and she's not done yet.

As I stood in the check-out line at Wal-Mart today, that cheesy rack of tabloids just seemed so dumb. This is what they sell at the last minute in Wal-Mart? Celebrity crap? Why not survival manuals? How to prepare your family and your pets for disaster? After all I've seen this week, you could not drag me with wild horses from my home if I could not take my pets with me. I sighed heavily, and realized that I needed to just let go and lighten up. The first thing through my head?

"Well, I picked a bad week to quit smoking...oh yeah, and I picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue...and a bad week to quit amphetamines..." I think I finally smiled, thinking about that scene from "Airplane." Then, of course, I couldn't help but think about Robert Stack walking through the terminal beating up all the religious nuts approaching him for donations. Speaking of...

It was my happy duty to shop at Wal-Mart today, after learning of their above-and-beyond corporate donation to the relief efforts. Finally, some sun is starting to shine through all the sadness of the storm. Tucker Carlson is doing as many happy storm stories as he can fit into his all-too-short hour. All the interviews he's had to cut short this week I would have been glad to watch for an hour and a half or two, because they were all really interesting, had happy endings, or were about good people doing good things. Tucker Carlson, I love you. And Keith Olbermann brought back "The Worst Person in the World" segment yesterday. Hooray!

It is okay to smile and find a laugh here and there in this horrid mess. I promise you, first responders like EMTs, police, and firefighters all do it...they crack jokes and find a reason to laugh in just about any situation. Laughter is the best medicine for trauma. If you don't feel like laughing yet, that is okay. Everyone has their own timeline for bouncing back into some kind of normalcy from extreme situations. If you aren't laughing in a few weeks, I think it's possible you may need some counseling if you were exposed to any traumatic scenes. In our state, first responders to traumatic calls are required to attend a "critical incident stress debriefing," where they sit around and talk about what happened and how they felt. It helps. I hope anyone that needs treatment for post-traumatic stress seeks it. It's certainly a real problem. Plus, life is too damn short to walk around sad and confused for too long.

I'll complain about the crummy stuff some other day. Today, I'm so grateful for the things that I have, and once again, the things that I have that are unseen, like my soul--the things that make me...well, me.

CA Approves Gay Marriage

While no one was looking yesterday, something monumental happened in California:
California Legislature Approves Gay Marriage

I would not be surprised if the governor signed this bill, either. Chances are he will not.

Those wacky celebrities

Sean Penn beats FEMA to New Orleans

We all want to help in some way during these trying times. We sit and watch TV and feel helpless to an extent, and doing something would be better than doing nothing. But sometimes, I think that helping out is not altruistic in the real sense of the word. Sometimes, helping out makes YOU feel better, your ego is assuaged if it is HUGE, and at the bottom end, something gets done that helps someone else, and YOU end up being the big hero. Now I want to know (and I am sure all Americans who have a burning anger and deep desire to do something would like to know, too) HOW IN THE WORLD SEAN PENN was able to go into New Orleans and help people when the Red Cross couldn't even get in until two days ago?

I didn't want to admit it, but now I'm sure that western civilization really IS in decline...

"Respondent Superior"

Hey! How would you like the lives of your parents, your family and friends, to be left in the hands of Michael Chertoff and Michael Brown? Be honest...after watching TV this week, how do you feel about Homeland Security, your security? My husband found this blog while rummaging around the internet this morning:

FEMA Failures

And on a more patriotic and romantic note...I recall that the United States once had a president that inherited his office in times of great difficulty and broad change. He wore a bow tie, and he was a simple farm boy from Missouri. He only had a high school education, but he saw us through the end of the worst times on the planet that anyone had ever seen. He kept a sign on his desk in the oval office, and it was a reminder to himself as much as anyone else that, at the end of the day, "Respondent Superior." Loosely, that's latin for the one in charge has to answer for the mistakes of those that work for him or her. We all know what President Truman's little sign said: "The buck stops here."

I pray President Bush will remember that in the coming weeks. He has no re-election to worry about; he should be more concerned about whether or not he does the right thing by the American people, whose futures and lives will depend upon Homeland Security and FEMA.

Truth vs. Perception

I know that FEMA is not trying to kill anyone...they are just incompetent and part of a giant bureaucracy that is just as deadly when time is of the essence. That being said, it was AMAZING to watch TV news reporters take off the gloves and scream at politicians this week. I felt some sense of relief, actually, that people were asking hard questions. What pissed me off was the canned talking points they kept getting instead of a sincere apology from inexperienced administration appointees in charge of FEMA and Homeland Security.

BBC NEWS | Viewpoint: Has Katrina saved US media?

I think that Hurricane Katrina will forever change the way the media interacts with the President and the administration as a whole for the rest of the term. There is no doubt that something changed when reporters on the ground had to see what the survivors were going through when there was supposed to be help there and no help was coming. There will be no more soft ball questions...no more polite deference...no more listening to answers that make no sense and staying quiet. What will be interesting will be how the administration tries to spin this and pin it on local officials, although I cannot see how that could be when the federal budget for flood control in New Orleans has been consistently cut since 2002. And never mind the gigantic transportation bill just passed by congress that is nothing but local pork...now that's money well spent. I hope Louisiana got some money in that.

I've been checking in on Louisiana web sites for businesses and colleges in N.O., and it seems everyone is optimistic that the city should be back to normal for tourism and students by January. I'm very heartened by all this, as I have not been since the early 90s and I was planning on going this winter. I'm concerned that the city may be rebuilt into some bad Disneyland version of New Orleans...all image and no soul. I hope and pray that this does not happen, but I'm not optimistic enough to think that the town will ever be the same again. It will be similar, but perhaps more like a N.O. in a dream. The vibe will be different, to be sure. I can't wait to help out the tourism economy there, and I'm sure many other people feel the same.

Homeland Insecurity.

I haven't written because it seemed pretty inconsequential to anything going on in the deep south right now. The ineptness of the federal response to Katrina has been a real eye opener. This is outrageous. And if this is how the new, illustrious, post-9/11 Homeland Security Department responds, then I am terribly insecure. I probably will never live in a city again (I don't now, and after this week...). But even the people in Biloxi weren't getting aid until yesterday. It is terrible, and frankly, the lack of response smacks of a deeply sinister agenda to let the old, infirm, and very young die so they don't have to be taken care of over the next three months, and the medical costs of this disaster aren't as high.

I am really angry right now, I mean...if someone asked me what I thought I might start yelling or something. I broke down and cried on Wednesday because I felt like FEMA actually wanted people to die. The creation of the Homeland Security department was the biggest expansion of government since FDR, and this is what we get?? After all that tax money?? THEY CAN'T EVEN EVACUATE OR DEAL WITH A CRISIS IN A MAJOR CITY? NEW ORLEANS ISN'T EVEN A "BIG" CITY! And watching Chertoff on TV, talking about how great the recovery was going...I wanted to slap him every time I saw the Convention Center footage of N.O., or the people in Biloxi just wandering, aimlessly, asking where they could get water. And they made excuses! You know, helicopters would work if the roads were messy or underwater. Just air drop food and water!! How fucking HARD would that be? Joe Scarborough did the right thing this week, calling for help on national TV, begging anyone close enough to drive to Biloxi and just drop stuff off. It must have been extremely gratifying when those private charities and individuals showed up and DID help when FEMA was nowhere to be seen. As a senator, he may not have been able to even do that much. The power of TV... it's more immediate.

People, we are on our own. If you don't think that you need to prepare for a disaster, think again. Nobody will be coming, at least anytime soon, should you need the mere basics to survive like food and water. Do whatever you can to prepare, and--if there is warning for your particular disaster--find a way to evacuate even if it means you have to walk 20 miles to get out of town. A church would put you up at the least.

And as far as the 2006 elections are concerned...WATCH OUT southern red states; you are about to be bonnie blue again. I sure would hate to be an incumbent in the south in 2006. Heads are going to roll. I hope the other 200 million Americans out there watching are just as furious as I am, because this is UNACCEPTABLE. Homeland Security gets an "F" on this effort.